at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
