We're facebook friends in real life
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
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