and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
