Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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