I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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