I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
