if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
