wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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