she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
