Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
