he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
