the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
