Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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