I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
