dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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