i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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