and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
