You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
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