I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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