We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
