And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
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