you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
