it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
