I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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