Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
