Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
