Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
