some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
