Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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