So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
