its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
