The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
