I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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