Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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