the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
