i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
