I heard we made out
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
