where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
