i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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