i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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