Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
