I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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