i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
