let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
