he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
