At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
