Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
