Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
