dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
