honey bunches of taint.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
